The Redundant Monkey

YOU GUYS SUCK DOG BALLS!

What's up with all these lame ass morning radio shows and their racist skits?

Listen to these two clips first:

Philadelphia's Power 99 morning show, Star & Buc Wild's: 

• Call to India (right click to save)

New York's Hot 97's Tsunami song played on the Miss Jones in the Morning show:   

• USA for Indonesia (right click to save)

If you don't want to download them here's a brief synopsis on the calls.

The first call features morning dj's Star & Buc Wild calling a call center in India. Here's a little transcript of the piece:

STAR: Ma'am, I don't know what the hell you're saying. Hang on a second. Let me try and get something straight here. The quick beads, like Venus and Serena Williams, that to advertise to -- to the white kids on television. This call has been outsourced to India?

STEENA: That's right.

STAR: Well, ma'am, what the eff would you know about an American white girl's -- uh, uh -- hair? And quick beads.

STEENA: Just to inform you, ma'am, we're a national chain services company. And we're just taking calls on the opposite...

STAR: Listen, bitch! Don't get slick with the mouth! Don't you get slick with me, bitch!

STEENA: Now if you continue to speak this language, I will disconnect the call.

STAR: Listen to me, you dirty rat eater. I'll come out there and choke the eff out of you.

(laughter)

STAR: You're a filthy rat eater. I'm calling about my American six year old white girl. How dare you outsource my call? Get off the line, bitch!

(laughter; end of tape) (via)

The second clip from Hot 97 is a lame We are the World parody targetted at tsunami victims.  The song goes something a little like this:

There was a time, when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away

And all at once, you can hear the screaming chinks
And no one was saved from the wave
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away
You can hear God laughing, 'Swim you bitches swim.'

[Chorus]
So now you're screwed, it's the tsunami,
You better run and kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
And now your children will be sold to child slavery  (via)

I normally don't get so morally outraged so I'm at a loss for words.  Usually I can stomach a good racist joke here and there, but this is over the top and over the line.  I wish I could be more eloquent in my response, but all I can say is a big "FUCK YOU!" to whoever came up with these genius bits, to the station, to your sponsors, and to the morning dj's who's names are attached to these shows. 

For the news articles on these events, click here and here.

For brilliant commentary: hiphopmusic.com, Angry Asian Man, Sepia Mutiny, Turbanhead, cassytha filiformis

To make a stink about the whole thing, the fine folk at Asian Media Watchdog have made it really easy for you to voice your disgust.

• For Hot 97's ass, click here.
• For Power 99's ass click here.

If you're still online petition happy please check these out:

• STOP Hot 97 and Emmis Communication Petition
• Tsunami Song on Hot 97 Petition

You want a real laugh?  This is how humor comes out of the whole thing.  Both stations have tsunami relief links on their webpages!  Apparently Power99 had their "relief effort" on Wednesday.  There's still time though,  click here to see Hot 97's effort in covering their ass!

UPDATE:  Here's a longer version of the Tsunami Song clip, which might make you angrier.  It features the now classic Miss Jones quote: "you feel superior, probably because you're asian."

• Longer Tsunami Song clip

UPDATE II:  Awww, here's Hot 97's apology.

UPDATE III: Tsunami song sinks hip-hop Hot-97 show (NYDN)

IF YOU RAPE...THEN DOOOOOON'T VOTE!!

CAMERON DIAZ ELECTION SCARE: 'IF YOU THINK RAPE SHOULD BE LEGAL, THEN DON'T VOTE'

Oprah, as usual, was doing her part, and had a "Voting Party" themed show on Wednesday. Her guests included such lauded and staunch political pundits as P. Diddy, Christina Aguilera, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz. C'mon on now Oprah! Where were Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan? Hmmm? ANSWER ME!! Any fool knows that that Paris and Lindsay are the barometers for today's rather confusing political climate. You do the nation a disservice Oprah by your exclusion of our nation's "It" girls on your show. Shame! Shame!

During a discussion about women's rights on the show, Diaz got particularly riled up. Here's what she had to say:

Ms. DIAZ: We have a voice now, and we're not using it, and women have so much to lose. I mean, we could lose the right to our bodies. We could lo--if you think that rape should be legal, then don't vote. But if you think that you have a right to your body, and you have a right to say what happens to you and fight off that danger of losing that, then you should vote, and those are the...

WHAT?!

Who believes rape should be legal? She might as well have said:

"If you think sodimizing a pig should be legal...then DON'T vote!"

"If you think fire bombing black churces should be legal...then DON'T vote!"

"If you think luring children in your van to physically molest them should be legal...then DON'T vote!!

"If you think throwing acid in a person's face should be legal...then DON'T vote!"

"If you think that a secret race of intelligent super monkey scientists are running the world from their super secret headquarters 500 miles deep into the earth's crust...then DON'T vote!"

You're so funny Cameron. I wuv you.

The power of O though is a powerful thing. I used to work at a bookstore and when Oprah had a book club show, hordes and hordes or women and gay men would come into the store looking for the book. They would chant, "O, O, O, Oooooooh," as they walked zombie-like towards the "Information Desk." Working at the bookstore though, you get kind of an idea of what kind of person is actually going to read the book they buy. Most of these people were not going to read this book. Yet they bought the book, just as a bunch of people might buy Oprah's voting party show.

Prior to the show she had a little voting tailgate party backstage, where she enlisted the help of Diaz in registering audience members to vote. She yelled into the crowd, "Is it true this whole group hasn't voted?!?!"

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!," they yelled back, as if they had mistakenly heard they were getting a free car. I don't think they knew what they were cheering for, she might as well have screamed...."Do you think rape should be legal???!??!"