I'M NEVER GOING TO DANCE AGAIN

It's December here at the Monkey, so that means posting time is limited.  I know, I know.  How can I possibly be so busy at the end of the year?  Blame out of town friends and a multitude of Christmas/Holiday parties I need to make an appearance at, lest I wish to be known as The Prick Who Hates Christmas.  Truth be told, I do hate Christmas, but you know, if it makes people I know act a little nicer and friendlier for a few weeks out of the year than I can't complain. 

Bastards.

December also means it's going to be a mix tape madness month for me.  In addition to buying gifts for people, I'll try to give a little personal touch by making mix cd's specifically tailored for each individual.  I figure, hey this also a good excuse to put some more mp3's up.  I'm listed in quite a few different directories as an MP3 blog, and I get so much traffic from them.  Unfortunately I haven't been keeping my end on of the bargain, and it's been quite some time since I've uploaded any tracks.  But not anymore!  Rejoice my friends, for here are a few more.

This mix cd was made for a friend of mine who recently came down to Southern California and had a chance to see me dj at the bar.  This silly lightweight friend of mine, decided to load up on Ginger Ale and Maker's Mark (which I personally feel next to any sour drink, flavored martini, or cosmo, is one of the gayest drinks I've ever had to order for anyone).  I only saw him drink 2 or 3 of them, but the boy got fucked up. 

Not just fucked up, mind you, but FUCKED UP. 

Fucked up in the sense that he was lying on the floor on the verge of passing out.  Fucked up in the sense that he dropped a glass, which shattered, and as he was lying on the floor almost passed out, decided to slice up his hand.  I've always believed you could tell how drunk a person is by how they lie on the floor.  If the person is on their side, writhing in pain, it's a good sign that there's still some life in him.  This friend did one of those embarrassing on your back, dead man poses.  This of course occur ed in the hallway between the dance floor and the bathroom.  As he lie there, people going to the bathroom feigned brief concern that passed as soon as they passed him. His blood splattered jeans looked like they belonged to a puberty bound 12 year old girl who was caught off guard by her first period.

I ended up having to leave the rest of the bar, forcing Mark to finish the rest of the evening off all by himself.  I missed the fuckers who threw ice (or maybe it was glass) through the window into the dj booth.  I'll catch you fuckers next time.

So for my favorite little drunk friend, I made him two Cd's.  This first one is basically a sampling of some the stuff we play.  This isn't a definitive playlist, but it is some of the more interesting tracks he might have missed.  Remember to check out some of the websites where these mp3's were taken from....Enjoy!

I'M NEVER GOING TO DANCE AGAIN -or- THE HOUR I SPENT LYING ON THE FLOOR OF DANCE

1. The Kills - The Good Ones
2. Blondie - Call Me
3. Fidelski / CRFTP - "Hey Mickey...Your white orchid is a holla back girl!"
4. Joan Jett - Bad Reputation
5. Missy Elliott - Gossip Folks (Mousse T's Pogo Remix)
6. LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing At My House
7. M.I.A. - $10
8. John Marr - Toxic Rhythm
9. Stacey Q - Two of Hearts
10. Scissor Sisters - Available (for you)
11. X - Los Angeles
12. Concrete Blonde - Still In Hollywood
13. Gwen vs. Queen - Holla Back Queen (Fidelski's Remix)
14. Lyrics Born - I Changed My Mind
15. Basement Jaxx - Good Luck (Tim Deluxe Extended Funk Club Mix)
16. B-52's vs. Felix vs. Fatboy Slim - Rockafeller Rocket Shack
17. Yaz - Don't Go
18. Peaches - Shake Yer Dix (Agent Lovelette Mix)
19. Sylvester - You Make Me Feel
20. Ben Folds w/ Rufus Wainwright - Careless Whisper

ANSWER KEY / IMPORTANT LINKS

#3 and #13 were both mixed by Fidelski, and they can be found the website, Communist Remixes For The People.  As far as mashups go, the Gwen vs. Queen track is probably the most interesting and flawless mashup I've heard this year.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say it is THE best mash-up of the year.

#8  I love love love playing this mashup of Britney Spear's Toxic.  Up in the booth you get a lot of crappy requests, and Mrs. Federline is someone that gets asked for a lot.  I have issues with this, but I'm not an unreasonable guy.   So I was lucky enough to find this online a few years ago. As soon as the kids hear the intro to this song they run onto the dance floor and squeal like little girls.  Then the vocals kick in and they're surprised and shocked to find out that Mrs. Federline isn't the one singing.  Instead, John Marr takes the accapella from Cutback's "Rock to the Rhythm," and turns the original loathe-some poop track into this sped up dance-hall number.  It's funny watching the kids try and keep up to the beat.  As far as I know, John Marr's website has been down for quite some time now, and I wasn't able to find a link. 

#16  I've always wanted to play the B-52's "Love Shack," because I've always felt that it was a pretty fun, the only problem was that it was cheesy as fuck.  Add in some "Rocket Ride" and some "Rockafeller Skank" and I think it gave it just enough edge to make it actually danceable.  You can find that mp3 along with some other great mashes here.

#20  Last but not least....a live cover version of George Michael's "Careless Whisper" as sung by Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright.  You can find that song at the aqLMA: live music archive, along with some other great live Ben Folds.

Comments

[Matt]

I love "Toxic Rhythm." Thanks for posting that.

[eric]

okay, so what do we have to do to warrant an entry in your blog? pass out onstage at the knitting factory while drinking a girly drink and rocking paranoid android? shit. though it can be arranged.

[gary]

if you guys fellate a donkey while onstage, I'd totally write about that!! actually I'll write about you guys soon...i promise!

[John Marr]

My website is www.JOHNMARR.co.uk :D